What do you do on a cruise ship? You eat — whatever you want, whenever you want. It’s a smorgasbord of choices. One of each, please! Oh look, there’s a midnight fiesta buffet! Eat, eat, eat. Repeat.

I had an awakening recently. I realized I was living with a cruise ship mentality. Cheese whenever I wanted. Eating out regularly. Pizza, pretzels, pasta. Don’t get me wrong, I like salads and salmon, but those weren’t my everyday choices. My everyday choices weren’t the greatest. Okay, they were bad. I knew it. My doctor knew it. My expanding waistline showed it. Nevertheless, I continued to enjoy myself by indulging regularly. I was set on cruise control.

Then, my turning point came after a dinner out while traveling. The food was mediocre, yet I stuffed myself. Salad drenched in dressing. Fried calamari. Lasagna that was too salty, over-sized, and greasy with cheese. A sickeningly sweet canoli for dessert. My stomach ached. I got a fabulous migraine. That night I couldn’t sleep. Why did I eat like that? I felt disgusted with myself.

That night I realized: I cannot live my life on cruise control.

I cannot just eat whatever I want whenever I want. I am responsible for stopping and looking both both ways. This is my life. I am responsible for my choices. Everything I choose to eat is my decision. I cannot expect that an autopilot of indulgence will end well.

So yes, I joined a weight loss coaching program to eat healthier and to lose weight. I am relearning how to add healthy foods to my diet and what normal portion sizes should be. I am learning that just like everything else in life, I cannot have whatever I want whenever I want it. Eventually, the cruise has to end.

But the good news is that it doesn’t have to end with disappointment. The ending is not an ending; it’s a new chapter. And this brand new chapter is healthier, happier, and intentional. I hope to share more about my journey on this blog for whoever might be interested.